The End of Quarantine.
Published June 2, 2020 in Medium
There will likely be a time, in the not-too-distant future, when we look back wistfully on quarantine.
For those of us fortunate enough to be able to stay home, this time of isolation has been a lot of things — anxiety-inducing, boring, stifling, overwhelming — but it has also been simple. We knew what to do. When we ventured out, we knew the precautions to take. And once we got the hang of seclusion, it became almost routine.
As states begin to lift their restrictions, that simplicity is evaporating, replaced by a new kind of uncertainty about the risky world outside. Back in April, a month into quarantine, my psychotherapy patients would ask, “When will this be over?” Now I am hearing more specific anxieties: “Can I visit my grandparents?” “Can they force me to return to work?” “Is it okay to take an airplane?”
Not all of them are eagerly anticipating a green light. Many of us who have been safely sequestered in our homes with strict germ-control procedures in place may not be so eager to head back to a bustling workplace or plunk down a blanket on a busy beach.
That’s especially true for people in hard-hit areas and those who are especially vulnerable to Covid-19 (a group that disproportionately includes people of color, who make up an outsize percentage of new cases and deaths). In a Quinnipiac poll taken early last month, about half of adults in the greater New York City area say that they would be uncomfortable returning to the workplace if restrictions were lifted in the next few weeks. And in a more recent survey from the Pew Research Center, two-thirds of respondents said they were more concerned about things reopening too quickly than not opening quickly enough.
Right now, the freedom of a post-lockdown life isn’t just daunting; for some, it can feel like a terrifying loss of control.
“There is for many of us an underlying anxiety about the unknown, and a feeling of helplessness in dealing with an unseen enemy,” says Judy Levitz, PhD, the founding director and board president of the Psychoanalytic Psychotherapy Study Center in New York City. Sheltering at home has become the devil we know — and with conflicting and ever-evolving rules about what’s considered safe, there’s so much we don’t know about engaging with the outside world.
Returning to the office brings up a host of concerns: Will the office be well sanitized, are elevators safe, how much space will you have? What about the bathrooms?
Some offices are leaving it up to workers to decide when they return to the office, but that can create its own anxieties. Are you missing out on anything if you stay home as some of your colleagues return to the office? One of the benefits of working in an office or co-working space is in-person camaraderie, but it’s hard to imagine chatting over a sandwich in the common room, masked and socially distanced.
Returning to social activities outside of work might seem stressful, too. “Amidst the pleasure of getting things back and seeing people again, all the interpersonal demands, obligations, and pressures will be renewed,” says Levitz, a practicing psychoanalyst. “I suspect there is a part of many of us that don’t particularly look forward to that.”
And of course, the relearning and redefining of social norms brings added pressure. Each interaction will require its own calculus: How much closeness are others comfortable with? How much time in a new situation will feel safe? How much do you trust this person?
And face-to-face isn’t the only thing that will feel uncomfortably new. We have grown accustomed to less stimulation. Many people have come to appreciate the low-key cocoon of quarantine, and navigating mass transit, crowds, and elevators may feel like what one of my patients has called a “jarring transition.”
“I am guiltily happy,” one of my patients confessed to me recently. “I prefer being at home where I can set my own schedule, wear what I want, and spend lots of time with my dog.” We’ve developed new habits and routines. Maybe we’re appreciating more downtime with our families, the right to be lazy, or the simple pleasure of cooking all our own meals.
Forgoing all that will be a difficult transition, says Karestan Koenen, a professor of psychiatric epidemiology at Harvard T.H. Chan School of Public Health and director of the Covid-19 Mental Health Forum Series. “Sheltering in place allowed us a pass on some things we did not like to do, such as facing difficult colleagues, coping with a busy schedule, and shuttling kids around,” she told me. “Now, when we are feeling really depleted, we have to deal with those things again.”
I know that doesn’t ring true for everyone. Some people are champing at the bit to re-enter the world, and will happily embrace a life with more freedom to go where they please. But for people who feel apprehensive and anxious, the ones who will be taking small steps, it can help to think of this next phase as a new routine to build: Just as we adjusted to washing our hands all the time, we’ll now have to evaluate each new challenge with our own personal, and ever-evolving, risk-reward re-entry matrix.